Saturday, May 23, 2009

Here are some of the things that Brandon has been working so hard to grow:

One of our little garden areas. We planted a bunch of stuff in those mounds, but they are not coming up yet. So we're going to try again today. I'm suspicious that birds and squirrels have been digging up the seeds. I just went out there and scared a bunch of them off. That front box has 3 blueberry bushes, future source for blueberry pancakes.

this is in the other little garden area. those are carrots. notice how their tops are already looking carroty. i want to see if their bottoms look carroty too but it would probably kill them if i dig them up already.

tomatoes and very determined onions.

He is doing a wonderful job. If it were up to me, there would be no garden. None of the flower seeds I planted in the front yard are coming up, except for the gladiolus bulbs ... and I broke one of them in my frantic search through the mulch. Brandon shook his head and said he should have helped me plant the poor little seeds. I'm going to try again this afternoon, I think.

I keep meaning to tell you about the new mindset I am trying on. A mindset of calmness. It is hard for me to explain, so I think that is why I haven't tried yet. For so long I have been working very hard to become "an illustrator." I would like to continue to work hard at this, however I need to give myself a little credit; praise myself for what I have accomplished. I have this voice in my head that says that old phrase, "Yeah, but what have you done LATELY?" Which keeps me constantly striving to do more, to one up myself. I know this is a good thing, but not when it drives me crazy. It makes me feel bad that I "don't accomplish enough," that I must always be constantly working on my art and if I take one little break, even if it's to wash the dishes, I am not working hard enough. So because of this, our living environment has suffered greatly. So this last week I have been trying to keep myself calm. I set small goals for myself, and I meet them. Nothing unrealistic. Even though that pile of promo cards has been gathering dust, they are simply going to wait. If I send them out in July instead of June, it's going to be ok. I am tired of this race against time that sucks all the fun out of my art. I want to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy my clean house, and as dorky as it sounds, enjoy being domestic, making our life pleasant. I want to sit down and make artwork because it makes me feel good. For so long I've been chasing deadlines and doing nothing for myself. I always want to have those deadlines hanging around somewhere; I like getting paid to do something I love. But I don't want them at the expense of my sanity. The next month is going to be a whirlwind of deadlines and horror, but as soon as that is done I will have at least two months of nothing much going on, which I am going to embrace. The upstairs studio will get finished, the kitchen ceiling will finally be painted, maybe I'll even get to strip more wallpaper (although that's a horror all its own).

If you are reading this and are someone who wants to give me an assignment ... don't listen to anything I just said. I want assignments.


@eloh said...

Things I learned the HARD way.

Ants, yes ants, steal the really small seeds. They are master thieves and leave you no clue as to why your seeds have failed to germinate. (Little Buggers)

Blueberries, the day before you are ready to pick them, birds will come from far and wide and eat EVERY dang one of 'em. There is no use in fighting, they will win, year after year after year after.. go ahead cover them with "bird netting" they love a challenge.

I LOVE your art work but it wouldn't let me post last night, which turned out okay, or I might not have thought to look here. I'm not the sharpest nail in the box. Well, gotta go count my blueberries, I think they may be ready to pick tomorrow.

Candice Hartsough McDonald said...

gah, ants!! little jerks. we're already preparing for the birds to steal our berries, although it won't happen for another year or two. if i don't get to make blueberry pancakes at least once from our own yard, i will be devastated.

Liz said...

You crack me up! We love your work for The Little Lutheran/Christian.